


Everything comes back to you

by obsessed_girl243



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26473201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessed_girl243/pseuds/obsessed_girl243
Summary: I had written this a while ago because the good doctor writers are assholes and a mature couple like them need to figure shit out! Okay here goes a little emotional patch up series.
Relationships: Audrey Lim/Neil Melendez
Comments: 12
Kudos: 21





	1. Over or not?

She was over him. She kept telling herself this. A few months when she had told him that she had underestimated how hard it was going to be and she actually had. So even now she couldn't wrap her head around why she couldn't shake him out of her head. But with all this weird sensation came an ounce of regret. She wished she hadn't told him that their relationship was a stupid idea. She regretted it the moment she said it. Although Neil was holding his composure infront of her, his eyes said otherwise. The hurt and anger in them was frightening, revolting but instead of lashing out at her he had quietly said that he felt good that he mattered and had walked past her, abandoning her in his office. That night a lot of things crowded in her brain, several times she was on the verge of tears. She chalked through their entire relationship where every step of the way Neil was sensible enough to ask her if she was comfortable, if she wanted to continue. Ofcourse they had their differences, they have had them ever since they know each other. Co-existing without clashing would be impossible for them. And with her promotion their relationship got more complicated than she had anticipated. But now when she was looking back at it she realised that she had missed some crucial points. Despite being competitive, despite wanting the job for himself, Neil had been incredibly supportive of her, incredibly accomodating and adjusting. He had let go of most of his arrogance and ego just for her sake. She realised that had they not been in a relationship when the promotion came her way, they would have clashed much more than they did. But then she had been the selfish, non-accomodating one and instead of understanding his emotions, his pain, his turmoil while he dealt with the loss of a patient, she had ended things with him. She debated with herself that she did it for her job, her dream and that they were better off as colleagues but deep inside she knew that once again, she blew off her chance at love and with someone like Neil, it had hurt much more. He was different from all other men she had known. Under his garb of ego, arrogance and brilliance there was a man scared of losing what he loved and extremely understanding of other. But then she had rewarded the man by saying that ending their relationship was a good idea, simple, binary and naive, on the same day he had told he loved her. Could she forgive herself for this? Could she have the courage to go and apologise? She didn't know and it was scary.

The day after their encounter at their office, she had expected a bit of coldness in him and she had wanted that desperately. Something to punish herself. But he had gone back to behaving how they used to be, almost like their relationship never happened. He remained extremely professional in his interactions, calmly making his points in debates over complex surgeries, passing a smug smile when he won, acing procedures at the operating table, being a good mentor to the residents, just like he had always been. He was behaving like the Neil she had always known but she didn't want him to. She wanted him to be angry, rude, to get into fiery discussions with her, to blame her, to dash out of her office but he did none of those. It was irritating and amazing how gentlemanly he was. She didn't know if he was pretending but then she knew that she had to too. She threw herself in work, went back to being his chief full time and except the occasional nods and smiles when they passed each other in hallways, when they successfully performed surgeries there was nothing more they could talk about. But despite all this, she didn't find her pain fading, it stayed there alongside her guilt, gnawing at her heart.  
One night she had collected all the things in her house that reminded her of him. A photo frame, a pair of earrings, a few bottles of bourbon, a stray shirt he had left behind and then stuffed them in a box and stored away in her storeroom. But still she missed him. It was not just 'sleeping together' with him, it was so much more, the friendship they had was a beautiful crux for relationship that made her feel in a way she had never felt before. With him around, she could be vulnerable. Be it in bed or in conversations, she was learning to open up. But then she had let it all go. Some nights she missed his kisses, their dates, his hand of hers when they sipped bourbons, his texts when their shifts didn't end together, the way his body felt on her, the comfort of his arms, the taste of his skin. And on some mornings, she missed his body beside hers clad in sunlight, the way he smelt, his hands on her neck as they showered, the music he played while he cooked breakfast. So many things about him that she missed, that she craved but was out of her reach. She had to fight off instincts of barging in his office, apologising and then kissing him but then she debated again and once more subdued her desire for the sake of her job, her dream.  
She had not missed his growing closeness to Claire, his growing recognition of her. She had ignored it, atleast tried to. She had no right to be jealous, after what she did but then the anonymous favouritism had dropped and she didn't know what to feel. This time she had barged into his office, almost shocking him. It took a lot of strength to calmly explain to him what was going on. She knew him, there was nothing inappropiate he could do. He had frowned his eyebrows and listened and then assured her that he could take care of the problem. She had left his office a little charged after being so close to him for a little longer than their professions demanded. She was not angry at Claire, she was scared that he would fall for another woman. She didn't know if she could have him back or even ask him to come back but then she had wanted it so badly. But then all of this that she felt wouldn't let her manipulate her decisions. Neil was affected by the complaint, he shut himself off. And then being confused again she lashed out at him for telling residents to come to him with their problems reminding him that he has problems of his own he didn't deal with. She had walked away after that but didn't miss the anguish in Neil's eyes. Later she got to know that he chose to maintain his friendship with Claire while managing his residents in a friendly stride. She was scared again but could she do anything? He was doing nothing wrong. He was being professional. But now she looked at Claire as a threat and not as a resident. It ate away at her but she was trying not to let it. She was definitely not over him.


	2. NOT BEING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our stupid ship lashing out.
> 
> So umm its already written so am updating...The next chapters will take time. Also I like pain so there will be a lot of it but I guess I will give you happy stuff at the end.

The surgery was a success and how the whole department had co-operated and pulled it off was a miracle. It was Neil's case originally but complications demanded more hands on deck. Audrey had been watching it all unfurl until she had to scrub in for an emergency. But the patient had survived and Neil was very pleased with his residents. He invited them all for drinks, he invited Audrey too and somehow she couldn't deny him.

At the bar Neil asked them to whatever they liked and quite instinctively ordered a bourbon for himself and a specific taste of vodka for Claire. Claire smiled, their outings were now frequent, they included dinners and drinking session. Their platonic friendship was one of the things she cherished and was very appreciative of how keen Neil was at observing her likes and dislikes. But Neil ordering Claire's choice of drinks didn't escape Audrey's eyes. It stung her. Had they been together, Neil would have ordered two bourbons but this time she had treated her as just another acquaintance at a bar. The night continued and so did Audrey's attempts at drowning her insecurities in her drinks. Neil was his free self around Claire, they laughed at jokes, nodded their heads together at the same songs and he even asked for a dance. Park and Morgan had left early for an early shift they had the next day. Shaun followed suit soon after, leaving just three of them. It was not that Neil was not cordial, he was and that was stinging her even more. She was accustomed to special treatment from hin and now that she was witnessing Neil's bond with Claire she couldn't help but feel pangs of jealousy. Finally they decided to leave for their homes. Claire told him that she was looking forward to seeing him at their run next morning. He nodded in agreement. She left. Realising that Audrey was drunk beyond the point of driving herself, he decided to drop her. Coaxing her out of the bar couch was hard enough, she was mumbling things. He mostly carried her to his car and had a hard time fixing her seatbelt. Audrey Lim was always a lot of work. He laughed when the memory of their drunk night together crossed his mind but then there was this gloom, this anger that he couldn't explain.   
He started driving. He didn't expect her to speak but then she actually did.  
"You moved on", she said not looking at him but outside the window, her eyes giving out hints of subtle sadness.  
He didn't say anything and only his heavy breath was audible.  
She turned her head to face him. Her face slack, almost at the verge of tears.  
"You love Claire, don't you? You forgot me" she asked and complained.  
Almost defensively he nearly shouted out a 'No'.  
It took her by shock and then he calmed down to add, 'it is not what you think, it is not like that, Claire is just a friend.'  
She smirked, 'yeah! just a friend, just a friend.'  
He pressed the accelerator a bit too hard, his body was tensing, he gripped the steering wheel tighter than ever.  
"You never came after me, you never asked me if I wanted to get back together, you forget me, was our relationship that forgettable? was going back to normal so easy?" she continued ranting, more because of all the feelings she had been hiding and less the effect of alcohol. Neil spoke finally, his voice stern, his neck taut, "What was I supposed to tell a woman who called our relationship a stupid idea? What was I supposed to tell a woman who broke up with me that same day I told her I loved her, the same day she told me that she wanted our relationship to work?" It hit her then, it hit her that he was finally lashing out and she didn't know if she could take it.  
"I know our relationship wasn't exactly the conventional one, we clashed and maybe our careers could be at stake but you had told me that we would learn, we would work it out and you gave up, right after one roadblock. I never forced you, never asked you to do something you weren't comfortable with, tried my best to adjust, to not let my ego and competitiveness come inbetween us, agreed to whatever you wanted to do but then you treated me like a joke, calling our relationship stupid. You gave up on us so easily Audrey and now you are blaming me, accusing me. What exactly was I supposed to do? Cry infront of the residents that I was madly in love with their chief? go begging after you to give it a chance? And then I struck up one friendship to feel better, to try and get over you and you are questioning that. Who gives you the right, Audrey? I was not perfect and I may have said a few things I shouldn't have but I was trying. I wish you knew what it is to try." Throughout this entire rant his voice had hint of pain, of destructive anger, it rose and it fell and it croaked at places, almost like his heart, his heart that Audrey Lim had stepped on.  
There was silence for awhile and then he heard Audrey cry. "I am sorry", she managed to say. He stopped his car near her place. And without saying anything jumped out his seat, went around the front of his car and opened the door for her. She stumbled out, still crying, being unable to walk. He held her and helped her towards her door.  
"Where do you keep your keys?" he asked her.  
She gestured towards her hand bag. He opened the door and she tripped her way to the couch. He was turning to leave whe she blurted out "five minutes, please?". He didn't say anything and sat down beside her on the couch, a weird tension radiating inbetween them. She took his hands, pressed it and began, " I love you Neil. I do. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was scared. Scared of losing my dream. Scared of messing up. I am sorry. I really am. I miss you. I miss you so badly. I am sorry. Can you give me another chance? and almost impulsively leaned in to kiss him. He leaned away. Looked at her with such intensity that it terrified her. Very calmly he freed his hand from her grip and said, " I am sorry Audrey. I cannot be your stupid idea." He got up and left, banging the door shut behind him.


	3. Crawling back to yoU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's this tune I found that makes me think of you, somehow, and I play it on repeat...  
> Cause the nights were mainly made to say the things we cannot say tomorrow day,  
> Crawling back to you..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is going to be short.

She cried after he left. The alcohol in her system was making her sweaty and took away all her intentions of moving from the couch. As she lay there, she thought how helpless she was at that current moment, maybe much more than she had ever been in her life, more than when her father passed away, more than when she lost her first patient, more than when she had her divorce because for the first time in her life Audrey Lim didn't know what to do. It was finally hitting her that she was finally in love, the kind of love that changes people, makes them do things they never would have done but also makes them less afraid of their vulnerabilities. She threw her head back in frustration, why did she always suck at relationships and why on earth was she in love with this arrogant egoistic man. She knew why, no one ever made her feel as safe as Neil did, no one doted on her like Neil did and no one understood her like Neil did. He was the only man who truly deserved to know her for who she was and only man who could break her heart. And she knew she loved him, with an intensity she had not known before. She was angry at him now, for not understanding how she felt for abandoning her like that, for not realizing that she missed him but then she was oscillating between blaming herself and him. Such cluelessness haunted her and while she struggled to decided what she would do the next day, the tiredness of her body coaxed her to sleep, only knowing that she had to try.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
When he left her house, the anger he felt was coursing through his body and he knew it he was not in a position to make mindful decisions. But somewhere, he felt an overwhelming amount of guilt for leaving her that way,for turning her down. He got into the car in a hurry, started the engine but in an instant decided not to drive. A few minute went to calming himself down. He knew that if he drove in that state of mind, he would probably crash to death and never see her again so he just rolled his windows up, started the car's air-conditioning and leaned his seat backwards. Did she deserve such treatment from him? Sure she had broken up in a hurry without giving them an opportunity to talk but had he not seen the pain in her eyes whenever he was around, the hints of jealousy in her behavior when he was just being nice to Claire, her sudden voluntary retreat in the walls of her office, had he missed all of that? Did he not know how hard it was for me? Did he not know that she was another person who did not want to compromise on her dreams and that he would have done the same in her place?  
Why was it all so confusing? He knew he was still in love with her, not a bit less from the day he knew when he realized he loved her. Despite the months apart, the comfort he felt while around her didn't change. Every song reminded him of her, every person he encountered reminded him of her and oh God! the despair he felt on not being able to touch her, to revel in her laughter at his sappy romantic ways, to feel her relax in his arms and so so many things he knew she did only around him. Why was he pushing it away when he had a chance to have it back again? Did he forget when he pulled her for an impromptu dance when "the light that never goes out" came on the radio and he whispered into her ears "to die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine" and she had looked with such warmth at him that he coudn't help but kiss her? Did he forget that she was the woman he had always been in love with over the years? He could never give up on her, never, even if she broke his heart a thousand more times.  
That's when he got out his car, knowing very well that he had to make things right, that he had to tell her that he loved her, that he wanted to give it a chance unafraid of what lay in their way, that he needed to hold her and kiss her and confess how much he missed her, do all the sappy things for her. She was his everything and he knew that.  
He almost ran to the door and rang the doorbell, no one answered. He didn't wanna wait. Luckily, the door was open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will not be putting Neil/Audrey nearly dying drama in my story cause I guess there are already enough versions of it. I will rather highlight who they are in my story. So, hold on.


	4. Addicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, it ends here. I didn't put as much pain as I promised because I guessed they missed each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.

He soon realised why no one had opened the door. She was there on the couch exactly like he had left her, just asleep now. He cursed himself for having stressed her that much. He tip-toed to the couch and sat down beside her, looked at her soundly for a few moments, how he had missed the details of her face, the colour of her lips, contour of her nose but unfortunately now the signs of months of strain were visible and he only wished they weren't there.   
He placed his hand softly over hers and whispered "Audrey". She didn't wake up at first but after a few more callings of her name at a higher voice, she did. She mumbled something but as soon as she realised it was him she shot up and almost shouted "Neil". She was too weak to show how amazed and confused she was. He understand that, moving closer to her, he said "shh..it is okay". "I am sorry for leaving, for lashing out, I am sorry, I love you Aud and I want to give it another chance, whatever it takes." She quite couldn't believe what he was saying, she was grateful she had another chance to make it right. In response, she just kissed him like she had wanted to for such a long time. He didn't hesitate this time, instinctively pulling her closer, into his laps, gorging the taste he had missed so much.  
She broke the kiss and looked at him contently, "you don't need to be sorry, we can make it work, I love you Neil." He placed his hand on her neck pulled her in for a kiss again .  
"It was wrong of mine to blame you, it was both of our fault but you have no idea how much I missed you Aud" he said against her lips.  
And there they were, sitting interlocked, kissing each other like there was no tomorrow, no reality to deal with and the only thing that mattered was that they loved each other and nothing else mattered.  
But in between those longing kisses, they talked like teenagers do in cheesy movies. She said that she missed him and hugged him tighter because she didn't want to ever let go. They gazed at each other some, kissed the details of the others face and traced the outlines of the others faces, restoring them to their memory, played with each others hair as their hands roamed on the entirety of the others body. "Don't give up on us" he pleaded into her ear. "I won't" she assured back.   
And while locked in her realized that she had fallen asleep with her head nested in the crook of his neck.   
He lightly carried her to bed and laid her down. He knew this was the soundest sleep she was having in many months and then he laid next to her, wrapping her in his missed. He had missed how warm her body against his. She relaxed too. They slept happy but they both knew they had a lot to work on.

He woke up next day with her looking at him with intensity and adoration. He smirked while he rested his forehead against hers. "Missed staring, didn't you?" he asked. "Actually did" she chuckled. "Soooo" he started. "I know the sensible talk is still left" she interrupted. He smiled.  
So lying in bed, they chalked sensible ways of handing their relationship, of calm talks before major surgeries, of supporting each other when bad outcomes happened, of taking care of their ego and arrogance , of letting go of blame and other stuff that needed work.  
"We can do it" she said optimistically.  
"Yes we can" he added "but you know we both don't have to work till 2, soooo" he continued while moving his hands under her shirt, causing goosebumps on her skin.   
"Before this I have one final question" she said while holding his meandering hand in its place. "What?" he groaned. "Why do our biggest revelations occur around alcohol?" she asked with real curiosity in her voice.  
"Because we both are addicted to each other" he answering before he continued to attack all the places on her body he loved so much.


End file.
